I took this photo of a rainbow on a road trip with my family awhile back.

It was (clearly!) pouring rain out, and the driving was stressful.

We could barely see out the windshield at times.

My mind was racing, worrying about being late, about getting in an accident - when suddenly this rainbow appeared, right in front of us!

It felt like a sign at the time - a sign to breathe and become present.

After all, disaster hadn't actually struck. The fear was just making for a really bad ride.

So I chose to step out of that worry and semi-panic, and focus on the rainbow, on the possibilities we would experience at our destination.

When was the last time you chose to reframe a situation?

It's common to feel anxious, worrying about the past or the future.

What would it mean for you to simply take a moment, breathe and check in with yourself? To look around for a rainbow? To reframe the situation so that it's no longer a problem you need to solve, but an opportunity for learning?

I’m...

How much did you get done today?

That’s the question that puts a chokehold on me some nights as I try to go to sleep.

I’m drawn to the idea of MORE. 

Get MORE done.

Be MORE efficient.

Start MORE new stuff. 

Finish MORE old stuff.

It’s a powerful want and sometimes causes me to lay awake,  re-processing my day, wondering if I got enough done.  How I could have accomplished MORE - and why didn’t I?!   

In my client work, I often see this same pattern of focusing too much on output.  It leads to unhealthy behaviours such as:

• Not spending enough time on rest and leisure
• Not being present with friends and family
• Not moving our bodies

So what is the antidote?  

DECIDE TO TRUST YOURSELF.

• Trust that you know what you need and make choices in line with those needs.   
• Trust that it’s a practice over time and you won’t always get it right.   
• Trust that you can make new...

Dreams can come true…

A couple of weeks ago I was with my accountability buddy for our quarterly retreat.  We were talking about our goals for the next quarter.

I mentioned that I wanted to think beyond the quarter and articulate my vision for the next 2 or 3 years as well.

Suddenly, I was reminded of the fact that I had done a powerful exercise back in 2016 when I created a vision called “My Personal Belize,” based on a story told by Don Campbell.  

The story was about a person whose vision was to have the freedom to live and work permanently in Belize.  

The idea was to write a detailed description, in present tense, of my life in 5 years.

So, get this…

Despite a global pandemic that wiped out all my facilitation revenue for over a year;

Despite needing to step back from work to be take care of my dad and then deal with his estate;

80% of my vision statement has come true!

Back in 2016: 

I wanted to go out on my own as a...

This adult woman actually said to adult-me “Because I said so!”  

No, I’m not talking about my mother.

Although I did feel like a child in response.

I’m talking about the WORST BOSS I ever had.  

She was the worst because she was a CONTROL freak. 

Tightly-wound.

Stubborn.

Distrustful.

Untrustworthy.

Stuck in stickler mode (she would edit documents of people several levels down - for punctuation.)

A hoarder of information - she took “need to know” to a whole new imaginary level.

What was driving her behaviour?  

I am certain in retrospect it was her own lack of self-confidence.   Combined perhaps with a mix of fear, anxiety.  I don’t really know.

What I DO know is that:

Leaders must learn to be open to not knowing.  

Leaders must learn to TRUST and then be trusted. 

Leaders must never say to their adult followers “Because I said so.”

What’s the WORST thing a...

I finished my degree.

I did another one.

I started a career.

I left it and found a new one.

I got married.  I got divorced.  

Yep, married again.

Had a child. 

Lost my mom.  

Changed jobs.

Left corporate and started a business.

Won my first client.

Studied hard and got my coaching certification.

Lost my dad and fell on my knees with grief.

Survived a pandemic.

Became a volunteer in my community.

Launched my group program The Talent Trust.

All of these are milestones in my life. Some big, some small. Some family-related, some career-related.  All important to my own story.

This past weekend, we celebrated my best friend’s mom who turned 90 this week!   

We had a big party in my backyard and she was moved to tears.  Imagine all she has seen and experienced.  Doesn’t she look joyful?!

It got me thinking - there are so many new milestones ahead!   

Like my own milestone birthday coming up this...

“Grrrrrr, he’s SO stubborn!”   

Have you ever had a similar thought while working through a key project with an important stakeholder who refuses to budge on her position around a critical element?   Or maybe when trying to make a household decision with your better half?

Have you ever dreaded trying to negotiate with this person?  Given up on trying to make them see reason, and just chosen good ol’ fashioned resentment instead?

I have.   There are some tough cookies out there.   I remember one client when I was still in the corporate world, and there seemed to be NO way to make him happy and get his approval without major blood, sweat and tears.  I used to DREAD dealing with him.  

Looking back, I wasted a lot of energy on this stakeholder relationship.  I got myself quite wound up in knots at times.  And the process of winning his buy-in remained difficult and loooong for quite some time. ...